Yep, that's right. The Loud Mouth of Show is retiring. While this might be bad news for a small handful of people, it's actually good news for Show and his family.
Somehow, by the grace of God and many other factors, I have found gainful employment in the sportswriting industry. While some (
Buzz Bissinger, to name one cantankerous douche) may not respect it, the opportunity and paycheck are both there, so I'm not too worried about the uneducated (in the field of "blogging") naysayers.
I really don't think this will be my last post, but it will mark the end of regular, or even quasi-regular, posting here. Some would argue that's already happened, but due to recently hearing from several people how they make this a daily stop, I have to tell them to not do so anymore. It's just a waste of time to regularly visit for new content. I'd recommend just grabbing the RSS feed and forgetting about the bookmark, for those dozen or so who did bookmark me. For people like Snee who have no idea what "RSS" means, I'll help you, too. The point is that if I post here, it's going to be very few and very far between. I'm talking maybe once every two months, if that.
I have heard that many enjoy the links on the side, and how you can see the title of the latest piece on each website. I'll keep up with updating those. I'll also post something above this -- you should have already seen it -- with a link to JUST ME at FanHouse. That should cover everything.
What follows here in writing is for me. I wanted to type all of this. It's really long and would likely be a tedious venture for you sift through this
War and Peace type blog entry. As with any of my stuff, you are under no obligation to read it. It's going to be a compilation of my thoughts and feelings on what has transpired in the past three years concerning this blog and my writing career. I can't iterate or reiterate enough how much this is a totally selfish post. If you feel like writing a "get over yourself" comment, you shouldn't read on (you can still feel free to leave that comment, though; and I'm quite certain it will be posted as "anonymous"). If that feeling happens at any point, just leave. Please. Life's too short to waste your time on my personal thoughts and feelings. Again, this is for me ... and my best friends who I need to thank. (if you feel you are one of those, but don't want to read the whole thing, scroll down a bit and scan for your name/nickname ... I bolded them to help you)
Yeah,
writing career. I said it above and meant it. No quotes, no qualification. It's a fucking career. There was a time when it was laughable to some people, and now it's a reality -- though a little turn of the economy could help a bit. AOL's getting beat up. Luckily there's always a place for sports in America, and, in turn, people love to read about sports.
Anyway, how the hell did we get here?
A big sports fan, a love of writing, a penchant for practicing quality grammar (eventually, but at first it was relatively awful), a really opinionated loud mouth ... and dumb luck/fortune.
I'll never forget the night I decided to start this blog. It was a January night in the apartment of Mrs. Show and I, which makes it 2006. She was pregnant with Dylan and in bed. Arden was sound asleep. I was sitting there killing time and reading the articles in front of me, which were presented via the MSM (main-stream media). As Brinson and Melby could tell you, I was very slow to become acquainted with the quality blogs on the 'net. I was strictly an ESPN/Sportsline/CNNSI guy at the time. I can't remember the particular article, but I do know it was Gregg Doyel on college basketball -- likely the Big Ten -- and I thought, "how the fuck is this guy so much better than me?"
Mrs. Show will even corroborate the fact that I woke her up to tell her about this
incredible idea (PLEASE note sarcasm). Again, I was not well-versed at all with the inner-workings of sports blogs on the internet. I thought that I had four months to plan out things I would write and that I was going to start a killer sports blog. Knowing what I know now, I should have just started plugging away immediately with any of my thoughts and seen how the fallout worked -- especially considering our circumstances at the time. I always had an additional 2-3 hours after everyone was asleep when I was just sitting there alone. Should have started it then. Either way, I have no regrets.
As with all things in life, it didn't go as planned. I wrote some good stuff, and I wasted a ton of time on things I could have just emailed Snee (Homegrown reports). When I look back at some things, I can't help but laugh at myself. I included a disclaimer that I wasn't a "real writer" in a piece about Barry Bonds. I
acted like I don't cuss and censored an argument about ARod. Honestly, it's
really embarrassing to look back -- especially at the latter case -- and realize I was talking to twenty fucking people, max. I acted like I was writing for ESPN. The only scrutiny I was receiving was from my friends. I'm actually kind of disappointed none of you guys threw in a "get over yourself" comment.
My readership never really grew to more than twenty regulars as far as I could tell, but I was having a good time. That was all that mattered, because I was pursuing a teaching license.
On the teaching thing, I really have to say this was an integral part of my life. I had never worked hard at anything academic up to this point. Once I started the blog and my teaching classes picked up, I started to work hard at everything. It was weird, and I can't really explain it. Some kind of drive came over me, one that should have been present for the past ten years ... it just wasn't. I was a slacker, and I'm ashamed of that now. On the other hand, I'm very proud that I shook this slackerness (totally made up word, I know) when it really mattered. Without getting into specifics, I'll just say that my GPA the last two years in school compared to my initial four IU-Bloomington years was comparable to a scoreboard final if last year the '07 Patriots played the '08 Lions.
Anyway, in my mind, I had a "fall-back." In the minds of everyone who was sane, I was going to be a teacher. For me, it was nice to
tell people that's what I was going to be. The fact that only about twenty people read my drivel didn't knock me off the path of believing I was destined to make it as a sportswriter. You can call me delusional, but I definitely still believed something was going to happen. In fact, I actually kind of
was delusional at the time.
Then, something did happen.
Scott Melby happened.
My best friend since second grade,
Ryan Melby, had pointed his eldest brother to my blog. Scott enjoyed it greatly. Scott also was a visitor of the now defunct (we'll get to that, don't worry) talentedmrroto.com. Apparently that website was having a contest -- called the Open Pen -- in which the winner would be hired. They accepted 75 entrants, and, thanks to you guys, I finished 2nd.
They ended up hiring me anyway, and this ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me, as long as you believe in patience. I know Axl does.
At first, I felt so blessed. Wow, these guys are paying me to write a weekly column! And it's about sports! In hindsight? It was a means to an end. I was writing a 4000 word column once a week for $25 a month. It took me about 12 hours per week to pour through all the local papers and find all the pertinent news on each NFC team. I had an editor who changed at least 75% of my funny stuff into serious banter, and I was tied to strict guidelines as to what I could write.
Again, though, I was fine with this. Who the fuck would complain about writing a sports column? I sure as hell wouldn't. And I didn't. I toed the company line, kissed ass, took part in as many chats and message board discussions as I could -- which also helped lead to my current gig. I enjoyed getting to write the intro to the tedious and rigid columns, and I reprinted those here with only my own permission --
version 1 --
version 2.
Then came what I
thought was my big break. ESPN bought "our" site. TMR -- Matthew Berry -- was going to be their fantasy guy. He assured and reassured all employees that there would be a spot for every single one of us
who wanted one (to which I'd love to ask, what sports fan would not want a job with ESPN?). Whether or not he was lied to, or said too much to us, I don't know. What I do know is that it just never worked out. I'm thankful I was given an opportunity by Berry and his staff, and will never forget that. There's no way I'd be where I am without him and his cult following. I don't wish bad things on his ESPN venture at all. In fact, I wish them well. I'm just glad I'm not with them, considering some of the things I've heard about pay-rate and content handcuffs. For example, writing about just fantasy is tough. You have to do a ton more research and still are only right about 65 percent of the time, and that's if you are good. When writing about MLB or NFL, you can just pass along news and opinions much more easily. By the way, I still cringe to this day when I see "fantasy expert." There are zero fucking experts. No one has a crystal ball. I'm an
analyst. So is every other fantasy writer. If any of us has a team that goes 0-14, that doesn't damage credibility near as much as it would to give advice which goes against the stat-trends.
Anyway, this ESPN situation presented quite the crossroads for Show. For the first time, as I was student teaching, I had made peace with the fact that I was never going to write for a mass audience. I'd be lying if I said I was fine with this, but you have to go on with the hand life deals you. "It is what it is." I told myself nightly that I was the only moron who didn't see this coming. I was a teacher, not a writer. I never even outwardly professed this to anyone -- not even Mrs. Show -- but I had given up. The dream was dead.
Then came mid-January, and Will Brinson contacted me about writing for FanHouse. The rest is history -- in-as-far-as my life. I started writing fantasy baseball sparingly in April, picked up the pace in mid-May, went nuts in late-June, started posting MLB and NFL FanHouse in August, and added NCAA Basketball in late November. Along the way, I found a niche and bettered myself. This is really a testament to anyone who thinks they are stuck doing something in life they don't want to do. I liked student teaching fine. I love officiating football, and I would have loved coaching baseball. Dammit, though,
I'm a writer. Had I ever strayed from this path I'd be looking for a teaching job right now, while Mrs. Show and I would be terrified that I'd never find one. I didn't even get a freaking interview. Teachers are being laid off and offered early retirement right now. And I get to sit at home watching every sports game I ever want (yes, we are subscribers to every sports package we wish, as it's a write-off, and anyone is welcome to come watch any game with Show) and I just get to write about it.
It's a dream job, and I have people to thank. Many people, so get your popcorn/beer for this display:
Will Brinson -- As I alluded to and specifically referenced above, we became friends when we were carrying the old TMR site. We even got accused of being "old college buddies" a few times in the TMR chats because of our similar tastes in TV/movies/music. I guess we're both cool. Or lame. Either way, I'm ok with it. I'll reiterate, Will's the reason I started at FanHouse, and I could never thank him enough.
Tom Herrera -- An old-school TMR guy, but he took a job at AOL sports. He hired Brinson. He was the one who TMR once called "backstabby," but they're good now.
Randy Kim -- The big boss at AOL who took over right as I was finding my stride. He's righted the alleged sinking ship of FanHouse back to the top, and now we are better than ever. This is mostly due to Randy and his solid management style.
Tom Mantzouranis -- Was hired on as the boss in charge of content in the fall, and we've since become great friends. A huge Saints fan, and he calls Drew Brees "Breesus Christ." Love it. I just want to point out that the only person I've ever seen who is more of a grammar stickler than JRH is Mantz. This is for you, Tommy:
Good God, guy's. The Saint's aren't even that good. Their not evan in the play-offs. Your an idot if you like them. Matthew Berry -- Thanks for the opportunity. Thanks for not finding a way to bring me aboard (though I now know it was probably out of your control), sincerely, because it really hooked me up. There are no problems between us. I've turned the page.
Brian Jenkins -- A more loyal friend one cannot find (yes, I meant to switch syntax in Yoda fashion there). He once told me he makes a point to give me a hit on every single article, even if he doesn't have time to read it -- which is saying something, because I write a ton. He also told me, when we were talking about switching our fantasy league to fleaflicker, "even if there's a 0.1% chance it helps you, I think we should do it." That's a true friend. As Larry David once said, "maybe someday I can do something like that" in return.
Ryan Melby -- my friend of years, my friend of tears! Dude, had you not told your brother about this blog I'd be an unemployed wannabe teacher ... if that. But it's not just that. You kept this sad ship running while I student taught with college football updates, and have always been a loyal reader and contributor.
JRH -- Thanks for preparing me for the constant "you're a moron" posts at FanHouse. Those happen routinely, but, fortunately for me, my good buddy JRH has done that for years. Of course, most of the aforementioned commenters are more likely to go with "your a moron." JRH is the poster boy for what critical internet commenters should be, and for that I thank him. I know Scott Jinks does as well, as he sits in awe of my boy. A true, educated critic. There should be more.
Favorite -- You never left, man. Many stopped reading and/or commenting. But you were always around.
Lurkers like Kevin, Kevin, Dumke, Aunt Joy, Damon, and anyone else who regularly visits here. Thank you for reading my inane thoughts.
Susan (aka "Coco"), your contributions since you started visiting this thing have been awesome. I just wish it wasn't such a short run for you.
Scott Dolas -- Solid contributor from the start in the comments section, and I know you have been nearly as loyal as Jerkins in following my FanHouse stuff. That means more than anything else.
Noodle/DFJ/Rice -- All jocked/encouraged me to varying degrees when I first started this thing. I never thought of stopping, and I have to give partial credit to guys like this who constantly reminded me it was worthwhile.
Snee -- You know in movies or TV shows when someone goes to thank someone else for being a close comrade and they just can't find the proper words to express their thoughts? And then the thankee simply says, "I know." Well, Snee
knows.
Last, but not least, my dream girl. She watched me sit at the computer and seemingly waste time for hours upon end, especially after we had kids. Most girls would have said to get a life or something of the like. Well, she did ... but most girls would actually mean it.
Mrs. Show encouraged me to write more, because -- for some Godforesaken reason -- she believed in me. Belief in Show? She must be mad. Just mad enough to marry the Showstopper.
----------------
If this seems too dramatic for your tastes, that's fine by me. I don't care what anyone else thinks. A great friend once told me I should never care what anyone else thinks. He knows who he is, and things have been easier since I took said advice.
This is honestly one of the best things that's ever happened to me. The way I express myself is through writing.
As a final send-off of the never-almighty, but once readable, Loud Mouth of Show, here's a compilation of some of the best moments, according to its most-frequent author ....
*Favorite comment ever:
Anonymous said...You soo called writers are all supporting the drug dealers that play the game. Why dont you be a real man and report the truth about the homo pattin crack dealing/using so called players instead of putting them on a pedastool. You faggots are weak and should just shoot yourselves. their is no game anymore its $ now and the biggest drug dealer has the most.
*Second favorite?
By Favorite, obviously before the 2008 baseball season:
GIVE IT UP ON IU FOOTBALL ALREADY!
It is similar to rooting for the Devil Rays big season and a divisional championship.
*
My inaugural post, where I built a fake-paragraph about why I "believed" I could never "make it."I was still so hung up on what people thought about me that I lied. I always thought I would "make it." I hate that I catered so much to public opinion.
*My
first researched piece, on the Bonds/asterisks fiasco. When I read back through this, I find that I was far too verbose, and that I strayed off topic. The topic was Bonds, and all of a sudden I threw in "who is the greatest power hitter of all-time?" That wouldn't have been such an egregious thing to do, but I never answered the question myself. I still like this, but it exposed me in terms of inexperience.
*I'm still really sad this hasn't caught on in the main-stream ... my
"on the street" test when it comes to judging girls.
*I'm also sad the
comedy ratings system hasn't caught on.
*I'm still fired up
I called Super Bowl 41 (screw Roman numerals) correctly. The teams playing, not the winner or final score.
*
JRH's post on the BMV will never, ever, get old. This is
easily my favorite post ever. On any blog. I could read it ten times in a row and laugh just as hard on the tenth turn.
*Some
great bustings in the comments section here revolving around Melby and his passing on a double-date. I do remember this girl was a friend of Tammy's and she said they found the post. Her direct quote about reading the comment section was that they were "on the floor" laughing. I join them now. Man, we are brutal, yet fair and hilarious. Who wouldn't want to befriend us?
*The
American Beauty feud between JRH and Show. My favorite part about this is how JRH still, to this day, talks about his triumphant "victory." Who decided this? Himself. That's it. I'll just say this, I'd gladly lose every argument I have for the rest of my existence before walking around irate and offended with some douchebag producer in Hollywood because he decided to make fun of me. As Dr. Evil would say, "boo frickedy hoooooo!"
*I doubt anyone else cared near as much in reading this as I did writing it (kind of like this current post!), but
waiting was a big part of my life. People still beg me to go back and do it. True story, they'll even vouch on here in the comments section I'm hoping. HOT SHOTZ, errrrr 98th Street Somethingerrather!
*I had a
rant about Jennifer Hudson, and used this line: "in the very, VERY unlikely event that I become a writer and somehow win a writing award, the first thing I would do is thank talentedmrroto.com." Favorite posted about how he laughed. Well, I'm a step closer! Admittedly, awards aren't on the horizon, though. So I guess he still has me there.
*
A good topic ... and clearly you can see I'm unbalanced when it comes to the Cubs.
*A
good piece by Melby about Coach Hep.
*I'm sure
JRH won this argument, too.
*We
don't like stupid people.
*There are links there for most in the "best of" section, but I'm also really happy with my posts about:
--fire-up music
--Devin Hester
--Survivor
--TV/Movie sports teams
--Cedar Point
--
RockyI'm really gonna miss this place. Hopefully my insecurities -- and there are (well, were) admittedly a good amount -- die here, but our discussions as friends do not. That's what I enjoyed the most. We'll just do it via email and fantasy message boards now.
Thank you all, and to all a good night ....
I love you guys
TEAM!
p.s. If anyone has comments to leave about anything, please do. I welcome anything.
